Friday, September 26, 2008

The Jeff Kent Club

So it turns out the Warriors' Monta Ellis really wasn't "working out in the offseason" when he badly injured his ankle, unless you count moped-riding as exercise.

Of course, the Warriors don't count it as exercise, because they specifically forbid it in Ellis' contract. It remains to be seen how they'll handle this, although the best guess seems to be a fine and a stern scolding. Plus I bet they take away his keys.

Ellis now joins a long list of pro athletes whose offseason antics rendered them unable to perform. Many of them first told whoppers to cover up the true cause of their injuries. Remember Jeff Kent and the carwash? Sure you do. Here's the original report about Kent's 2002 broken wrist, which was later revealed to have occurred while Kent was popping wheelies on a motorcycle in Scottsdale.

Just last year, the Lakers' Vladmir Radmanovic had to 'fess up about his shoulder injury, which he said happened when he slipped on a patch of ice. Sort of true, except that the patch of ice was under the snowboard he wasn't supposed to be riding.

There are plenty of weird offseason injury stories. The NBA's Minnesota Timberwolves will start the season without center Jason Collins, who needed surgery after he suffered an elbow tendon injury in...wait for it...a golf cart accident. At least he told the truth about it.

And then there's Tigers reliever Joel Zumaya, who has suffered not one but two bizarre off-field injuries. He once missed several playoff games when he hurt himself playing Guitar Hero, and this past off-season, he damaged his shoulder moving boxes in the garage.

Some of this stuff you just can't make up.

No comments: